I know patience is a virtue, but this is one virtue I dont possess at the moment. I feel too desperate to want a new job to even want to be patient. Ive been contemplating to leave my current company. I'm bored at work and I want to move on. I want to feel useful; at the moment I feel useless. Sitting by my computer wishing time to pass faster or wishing for people to email me.
I want to work.... not sit ard.
Job hunt hasn't been all that great. I've sent countless of resumes and still no phone calls. I really wonder why no one is calling me, am I really tat bad? Can't be right? The ones that i want them to call... dont call... the one that i dont quite want.. calls. ARGH!
To improve my chances, i've been seeking help online, such as writing the best cover letter and resume. I've made drastic changes and still gng to work on improving that CV. Basically.. i felt this way 1 odd yr ago when i was fresh from uni, but then... luck was better. Now.... nope... coz i dont have the relevant work experience. ARgh!
why is it so hard to find a suitable job for me... something that i would love to do....!!!!!!
Since the World Cup started 2 weeks ago, everynight seemed really exciting. I don't dare claim I'm a huge soccer fan, but I think I appreciate a good soccer game, with all the tactics and attacks each country plays.
It's even more exciting when you have stacks on the matches as well. Nope, I didn't bet with Singapore Pools but yes for other sorts of betting. I have betted $130 for 2 separate bets and I want to win! Hahha! The country I betted on to win is Germany. I think they stand a good chance and with the added home ground advantage but there are a few threats out there (Argentina, Spain, Holland and Brazil). So... keeping my fingers crossed now.
Okay, moving on to the body challenge. It's a flop! I must be the worst self motivator on earth! And now, it doesnt help that i've hurt my left knee joint and calve. Once i start running.. my whole leg turns numb. So I've stopped running those 5-6km runs and just stuck to yoga and body balance, hoping to stretch those strained muscles. Yoga is really good, stretches you everywhere!
oh well... I'm sleepy now and it's 10.30am only. I dunno how I survive work everyday!
If you comment on this post: 1. i’ll respond with something random about you 2. i’ll challenge you to try something 3. i’ll pick a color that i associate with you 4. i’ll tell you something i like about you 5. i’ll tell you my first/clearest memory of you 6. i’ll tell you what animal you remind me of 7. i’ll ask you something i’ve always wanted to ask you 8. if i do this for you, you must post this on yours
I got this from Diana's blog too. And Yes, like her... I'm bored.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Instructions: Before you read the post, name 20 people you can think of at the top of your head. List those names down in any order, before answering the questions.
1. Kevin 2. Tara 3. Mavis 4. Diana 5. Gracia 6. Pris 7. Jared 8. Jenson 9. Janice 10. Darryl 11. Daniel 12. Marcus 13. Yilin 14. Charmaine Wee 15. Cheryl Ann 16. Samuel 17. Keith 18. Pearle 19. Alvina 20. Hao
Questions: 1. How did you meet number 14? This one is rather funny. My bf knows her, coz from same poly, and he knew she was in Monash studying, so wanted us to meet up. But we never quite made an appointment to do so. But i would see a familiar face at the kickboxing class but never knew it was her. Until I joined the Singapore association, did I then found out it was her.
2. What would you do if you had never met Number 1? Hmm... Interesting. let's see... I would have still lead the same life, but perhaps be with a different guy and have a different job? But then again, I wouldnt know how to find good lobangs and good places to eat.
3. What would you do if 20 and 9 dated? Hahah!! then number 8 will be damm pissed off. But I really don't see any possibilty of them together.
4. Would 6 and 17 make a good couple? Hmm. Maybe? Both seem to have similar personalities. But too bad, both are happily attached.
5. Describe no.3. She's actually an ex-colleague. Very friendly and chatty person. Someone who loves the finest things in life. She's one person who's great with any type of people. Definately the party conversationalist. Great with her work too.
6. Do you think No.8 is attractive? Hmm... i think attractive wouldn't be the word to use. But I would say he has a good fashion style. He has presence, so perhaps that makes him stand out.
7. Tell me something about No.7. He's in love with his new car. Actually I would say he's shy with strangers, but really a great company among friends. Lots of my female friends always find him attractive, especially coz he's bald and eurasian. Very accomodating person.
8. Do you know anything about no.12's family? Hmm. His dad works in Tuas, dealing with aluminium i think. His mum is with a magazine co, as a PA i think. He's their only son and child and they live at west coast. Currently, the father is attending RCIA.
9. What is no.18's favorite pastime? Hhaah..... i would say being the entertainer that she is. I dont really know her very well, but most of the time I see her, she's always so hyper, hoping around. Really the life of the party. As for other things, I think she's a sporty person. I've heard she's into Curling, you know the one that 2 people use brooms on ice and sweeping for a ball to move to a certain spot?
10.What would you do if 11 confesses that he/she likes you? Ha! hmmm...... say no..?
11. What language does 15 speak? English and Chinese I think. I've never heard her speak any dialects before.
12. How old is 16 now? Good old 25 years. He shld be going through some quarter life crisis now. ha!
13. When was the last time u talked to 13? Er... last Saturday at the boring England-paraguay game.
14. Who's 2's favorite singer? I think it's a tie between Jay Chou and Michael Buble.
15. Would you date number 4? If I was a guy, i would love too. She's our mass comm Ms Body Beautiful! Plus she's a really fun-loving and nice person. Who wouldn't like...?
16. What's 10's last name? Actually I forgot. opps.
17. Would you ever consider being in a relationship with 19? I can't. I'm straight. But again, if I'm a guy... i wouldn't mind as well. She makes a really good gf.
18. What schools did 3 go to? I think it was TKGS for sec sch, (forgot JC), NUS, and Warwick University.
19. Where does 6 live? far! Yio Chu Kang area. Landed property.
20. What's your favorite thing about number 5? Her bubbly nature.
I took this off from Diana's blog. It's rather long but worth the read.
"On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal carstopped in front of our one-roomflat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and shy.. I was a strong and happy bridegroom.This was the scene ten years ago. The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid. I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were steadily increasing, the affection between us seemed to ebb. She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school.Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes. Dew came into my life. It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream oflove. This was the apartment I bought for her. Dew said, you are the kind of man who best draws girls' eyeballs. Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we were just married, my wife said, Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls. Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayedmy wife.. But I couldn't help doing so. I moved Dew's hands aside and said you go to select some furniture, O.K.? I've got something to do in the company. Obviously she was unhappy, because I had promised to do it together with her. At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something impossible to me. However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt. Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we watched TV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew's body. This was the means of my entertainment. One day I said to her in a slightly joking way, suppose we divorced, what will you do? She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. Apparently she believed that divorce was something too far away from her. I couldn't imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious.When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out.Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide something while talking to her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes. Once again, Dew said to me, He Ning, divorce her, O.K.? Then we live together. I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more. When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. I've got something to tell you, I said. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the serious topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I'm serious. I avoided her question. This so-called answer made her angry.. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage.But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew. With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But I could not take back what I had said. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release.The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer. Late that night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her writing something at the table. I fall asleep fast.When Iwoke up, I found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again. She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but I was supposed to give her one months time before divorce, and in the month's time we must live as normal a life as possible. Her reason was simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she didn't want him to see our marriage was broken. She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, HeNing, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day? This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I nodded and said, I remember. You carried me in your arms, she continued, so, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning. I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage romantically. I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudlyand thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she does, shehasto face the result of divorce, she said scornfully. Her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable. My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as strangers. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy isholdingmummyin his arms. His words brought me a sense ofpain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to thedoor, Iwalked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, Let us start from today, don't tell our son. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for a bus, I drove to the office. On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this intimate womancarefully for a long time. I found she was not young anymore.There were some fine wrinkles on her face. On the third day, she whispered to me, the outside garden is being demolished. Be careful when you pass there. On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The visualization of Dew became vague. On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger. I didn't tell Dew about this. I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her, It seems not difficult to carry you now. She picked her dresses while I waited to carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one.Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of pain.. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head. Our son came in at the moment. Dad, it's time to carry mum out. He said. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out is now an essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom,through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came backto our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. She said, actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old. I held her tightly and said, both you and I didn't notice that our life lacked intimacy. I jumped into the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door. I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I won't divorce. I'm serious. She looked at me, astonished. The she touched my forehead. You got no fever.. She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I can only say sorry to you, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of life, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you. Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove to the office.When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until we are old."
It's really frustrating, especially on a Monday, that I am feeling so tired and lethargic. I really think it's the lack of rest over the weekend. I think this working thing is taking a toil on me, I guess not having to do much at the moment is quite tiring too. Just sitting here trying to find work to do and look busy is itself a tiring thing.
Anyway, shan't be bothered too much abt this, I just want Monday to end soon.
My weekend was not too bad, here's a short recap:
Friday: Grease!
Yup, it was a last min decision and it was quite a steal. Kevin had gotten some cheap tics off the auction page. Unfortunately, the show wasn't as great as I thought it would be. First off, the show was held at Indoor Stadium, and you might imagine that there would be a big stage, since it had so much space, but nope, it was a small stage with really limited stage props. Apart from good singing and the best of grease songs, the rest were really disappointing. The storyline was choppy and inconsistent. There was no focus and it really didnt do justice to the movie. Do shows which have movie adaptations always do so badly when acted in broadway? I heard West Side Story wasn't all that good too. It didn't follow the movie well too.
Saturday: Seventeen Summer Hunk Beach party and Settlers Cafe
Kev and I headed to Sentosa to attend the Seventeen Summer Hunk Beach party. Jared, Jenson, Hao and Chia were there too. This was Janice's event, and so thought headed there to lend support. I have to say the hunks arent all that good looking or not Jon Jonnson standard la. Aint the surfer dude standards. But nevertheless there were a couple of not bad looking ones. Maybe coz im older than them, so not much appeal. Nevertheless, it was still fun. I have a terrible sun burn too, didnt put enough sun block. Anyway, pics to come soon.
That very night, we met again to go Settlers Cafe for more boardgames. We found another new game and we decided to go Guys vs Girls. We had to do a few things, Charades, Ask Yes/No questions, Say on a subject topic for 30 secs continously, guess the correct meaning, and describle a word taboo style. It was a good night of fun, as usual we played till closing time.
Sunday: Zouk Flea Market
Started the day really late, went down to Zion Road for the Nasi Padang; it was to celebrate kelly's bday. Kevin got her a Mahjong set. Sigh, looking at it makes me want to play Mahjong. Right after lunch, headed to Zouk for the flea market. This time, it's a bigger flea market. They opened up Phuture. More independent designers showcasing their works. Quite good bargains but most are still rather expensive.
Anyway, looking at how my weekend went, it was obvious I didnt enter my gym at all. I think i'm killing myself here, for being so ill discipline!
