its thurs nite... and there was lightening and thunder just now.. and i thought, '' oh no!! its gng to be a cold nite!! and boy would it be nice to sleep in" but now, no lightening or thunder, and no rain too.. cheat my feelings!!! argh!!! today's weather was good, 19 degrees, bright and sunny, too bad i had no sch today so didn't really head out cept for my driving class.
Driving was good. I really love this instructor of mine. She's really friendly and chatty, and she makes me less tense. Today she said i improved alot, and that i observe things.. so glad i have her as my instructor. I feel more confident taking the exam with her guidance. :) After driving, I went to caufield to meet kevin, went there to play badminton. Today there weren't many pple, so we took one court for ourselves. I think my stamina is not as good anymore, i got so tired and restless so fast. Ended up playing for like 35 mins and that's my exercise for the week! How interesting ah!! Looks like I want to lose weight also hard already. I hope my no snacking diet would at least help me abit. But then again... it's so hard... saw in coles today, doritos is $1.99 and chocolates is selling cheaper... sigh!!! argh!!!!!!!! why do i like sweet things!!! sheesh! how nice if i dont fancy chips/sweets/chocolates/ice-cream... then i confirm sure slim slim one!! hahaha
This week has been a good week for me... seen so many friends and hanging out with them... i like it. quite a no. came over to my place and they saw my pics on the wall... most say i look like ah lian.. so sad... where got!!!!!! I'm not kkk!!!! at least most pple say i look nicer in long hair... hahaha... i agree too. When my hair really becomes long... i'll go for ceramic wave... I think it'll be a nice change, plus i think i'll look rather good in really wavvy hair.. since i already have natural wave. But i think that's gng to happen when i'm in sg.
Candida is in town!!! yeah!! so nice to see such a familiar face... plus i havent seen her for quite awhile already. Saw her only once when i was back in sg during the summer break. And she has this really cool hairstyle.. hahah TRENDY!! I like.. :) Went over to alvina's place yesterday, so nice to see all in seascape too... watched CSI, then went over to alvina's room to see her pics with candida. well... i just know i had a great time... to be around with so many friends.
Tues evening... i went coffee with jon and renee at the new IT building cafe.... i just like to chill with them.. Jon treated hot chocolate and baci.. heheh thanks jon!! I just like being with friends... It makes me feel i'm still part of a friendship. i still rem awhile back.... i feel i had no friends.. or at least i feel i'm losing out in some friendship.... but i feel... if i try.... i think i wouldn't be so distant with friends. Making sense pple? hahah....
I came to realise at this period... friends and family are very impt to me....i realised that last yr when i cam over to australia on my own. I really value these relationships.... and i want to make a change in these relationships...I dont have much time, once i'm back in sg.... time is gng pass me so fast.. i dont know if i have the luxury of time to make amends and make relationships with family and friends work. I'm not getting young anymore.... 21 gng on 22... and this yr.. time is passin so fast.
sigh.... i wrote alot of things for my journal entries for people skills... i wonder what my lecturer's feedback would be to them.... they are my inner thoughts and feelings... and i want to know whether what i was thinking or am thinking is normal or not.
oh well... i'm distracted now... wont be fair to write a distracted blog.
had my interview, let's just say it went pretty okie. They asked the usual, "how can u contribute to the company, what skills u have, what are the challenges u feel u will encounter when u work, do u get along well with colleagues, what computer skills u have, what kind of person am i, can i take take instructions properly, am i able to communicate well,... yada yada yada...."
But the most impt question i feel is, "do you drive?" man.... maybe thats the deciding factor! sigh... the place seems good, its near school, good pay, nice people.... but heard competition is strong. argh!!!! I knew something bad will happen.
talked to my mum today, and i feel so sad talkin to her, coz i know how hard she's struggling to keep the family together (financially).... and i feel really bad spending all these money while she's struggling to earn them. Told her i needed money, to pay rent, ski trip, the producers tix... sigh.... thats alot of money. I never knew the producers tix would be this ex.... sigh.. kinda regretted abit abt wanting to watch it. But too late now.
Actually I do have thoughts abt skipping ski trip, coz its simply too ex for just a 3 d 2 n thing. But then again its my last yr, and I do have to at least experience it once while im here, if not i dun't know when i can go traveeling to some ski mountain. Life's tough, and I'm learning it the hard way. Doesn't help that kevin has been emphasising how i spend my money, shit!! i get so angry when he does that, but i can't blame him, he's teaching me a lesson (verbally).. and i jsut get so pissed coz i know im guilty.
Honestly, why do some people just can have it so easy for them. Where do they get all these money from. I wonder do they know how lucky they are to have the money and the freedom to spend and do things. Even if they are tight, they have their parents to send them the money. They dont have to work for that extra cash.
Okie... i'm just so stressed in getting a job. I'm not as stressed in my studies than finding a job. I tried to save some money, each day i put in coins into my new piggy bank, its moving slow... real slow. And its amazing how much my phone bills are this month!! its so bloody ex!! $130 ++ thats madness!!
Money money money... why has it always got to do with money money money..... honestly... if known that the financial situation is not good.. i wouldn't have come to australia to study. I guess sometimes u need to sacrifice somethings for the better good of others. i wish i can be that sacrificial and selfless.
I wonder if its worth it at all.... is my happiness more impt or other people's happiness more impt? How do one actually managed to balance the both. I find it hard. I find it extremely hard coz i'm still young. I haven't really had a fun childhood/teenhood... and I wish i can make up for it while i'm a young adult, but somehow... i'm forced to grow older by 5 yrs each time i encounter a problem.
Honestly, this is like my final year i can ever do anything i want to do with the freedom to do anything, bfore i head home and slave for the rest of my life. Shss... this is scary... I wish i was 18 again.. and I know how many changes i would have made if i had a chance to be 18 again.
I'm not complainin that my life sux.. but more so that sometimes.. life is unfair.... and i know i cannot compare my life with others.. neither should i feel so envious of them... coz i know... i led a good life too. just not as good as some.
Oh well.... enough complaining..... problem is there means its there. nothing will ever change that. I wish God heard my desparate calling for help... urgent help!!
finally...!!! i have a job interview!! it's tom..... 10.15am at the business district opp monash uni! Its an office administrative position with monash property services!! man i hope i get the job.... pay is not bad. $15 an hour, and i think its 8 hours a week spreading in 2 half days. This is an excellent job, coz first of i have experience in office administration (did part time in sg before)m its near home, pay's good, not many hours to commit, and there aint a need to work on weekdays. most imptly.. the money will help me pay my ski trip and hopefully some rent etc.... $400 over a month is good money...
but then again..... that's if i get the job. What if they see me asian then they dont want me leh???? shit!!! sigh!!
Anyway.... weekend has been not bad, went go karting yesterday with kevin and some of the SAM people... it was fun and definately thrilling. But of coz... me girl.. drove slower than the guys. nvm... i think i still did well... Played laser quest too.. and being the girl in the group.. i 'died' so many times too. ha.. but it was fun.. at least i didn't finish last.
I watched movie today... watched Taking Lives (the anglelina jolie and ethan hawke) movie... it was good.. and very 'scary'... there are those frightening moments where suddenly somthing pops up... ha.. but i knew who was the bad guy frm the start. I think i make a good movie buff! ahahah!
well... i think i gtg for now.. time to sleep so that tom i'll look fresh and pretty for my interview. Wish me luck guys!!!!!
it sux knowing that u cannot enjoy life if you are not financially equipped. i feel restrained and choked up simply knowing i can't really do what i want to do bcoz i dont have the $$$ for it. I envy others who have relatively rich parents to sponsor them fully in australia. Their lifestyle, their wishes. Unfortunately, mine can't. But i know its wrong to feel this strain. I have to be supportive, and try my best to ease the tension. But why is it.... SO HARD TO FIND MONEY????? each day... money seems to be flying past me.... i dun't really know what im spending on.
It sux even more.. knowing u can do quite alot of things (i want to do) if i have reasonable amt of money. But i can't. I CAN'T!
It saddens me more that i might have to give up one thing i really want to do simply bcoz i dont have the cash to do it. I need to get a job soon....... i'm panicking inside..... i'm tryin hard too... trying very hard i think. But why no one wants me????? I'm a good worker.... i'm sure ill do a good job??
arghh!!!!!!!!
if only some people understand the difficulties one has.
okie... today is like the end of the easter break. Went past too fast, and its seriously unfair that MONASH gave us a week's off only compared to other unis that have like 2 weeks off. SO NOT FAIR! aint rested well!
sigh... once tomorrow start its gng to be like a ferrari like term, everything will go past so fast, next thing u know its gng to be exams. argh!!!
i wonder.... why is it so difficult to find a job, is it because im an international student, and of coz blur aussies don't know that SINGAPOREANS aren't CHINA PEOPLE, and that we do SPEAK PROPER AND GOOD ENGLISH??? sigh...... i'm just so fed up, coz i so desparetly want a job, and earn my money.. so i can travel, shop, save... whatever... having the extra cash is good. I've sent out like 10 over CVS and none replied. NO COURTESY this pple! It's not easy to be cash strapped. I envy others whos parents can afford their whole lifestyle here. Well... my parents could.. but i know with the financial situation back home, i rather they save the money. The aussie rate better keep dropping... its like 1.24 since i last checked. yep its still high.. but better than the 1.34 that i changed with that a couple of hundreds cheaper. So i'm like saving my money now, everyday save about $5.00, hopefully by June (that is i faithfully save) i can hit a couple of hundreds. By saving, that means i cannot eat out so often, resist the temptation of shopping, just spend on the neccessities, like groceries, phone bill, rent, and driving lessons. Woah... all add together and its so expensive already. I SO NEED A JOB NOW!!!!
heading to city now.... meeting kevin's relatives... getting some stuff from them as well.. WOOHOO! well.. got to catch the bus before i miss it...... BUS SYSTEM IN AUSTRALIA SUX!
I MISS SINGAPORE SO MUCH!!!! SIGH.... I WANNA LOSE WEIGHT TOO.....!!! ARGH!!
okie... i'm a grumpy person today... and i dunno wat im saying... just saying to vent my frustrations...
i think its the weather... HA... SO TYPICAL HUMAN... plan it on the weather!
finally.... my life is back to normal again!!! sux! got to become that student role all over again... that means... i have to start studying for my test... do my journals.... etc... etc.. etc....
On a happy note... i had my first driving class for this semester.. it went well.. I AM SO GLAD THIS TIME I HAVE A GREAT FEMALE DRIVING INSTRUCTOR...! she's so MUCH better than the previous greek guy i had.. for those who dunno.. its that one that kept scolding alvina and myself. Anyway.... i like this lady, she jokes, comforts and most importantly.. REALLY TEACH driving. I think i've learned so much more in a day compared to my previous lessons. I'm really hoping i can pass by June, so that i can do my conversion in singapore by Dec. Latest i give myself is July..... that is the LATEST!!! Next lesson in next thurs... I'm hoping i can improve better... i think i did okie for a first time after 4 months of no driving.
Okie.... so now... its 3pm.... on a thursday... and i'm thinking... what to cook for dinner... hahah.. yesh yesh... i'm greedy. Talking about food.. i made brunch for kevin and myself today, boiled sausages, microwave scrambled eggs, had toast and cup of milk. YUMMMM.... Healthy breakfast. :) I attempted to make muffins last nite.. but the stupid oven didn't work properly.. it wasn't hot enough..that the muffins turned out weird. So sad/.. wanted to share with my housemates.. but now i dare not even show them. sigh....... last tray is in the oven...i think it's gone too. oh well.. next time then.
Still thinking when to buy the bean balls..... once i have my bean bag up... i finally have a proper room and a cosy one. I want to go running today... but it looks like its gng to rain... so is the next few days.... sigh.. this is really the start of autumn... so sad..... gloomy days awaits!
oh well.. gtg now.. check my muffins... then i guess off to study something. Take care ya all!! till tomorrow!! byeee!
alright.. i know i'm like damm late in my entries.. guess im really not use to writing blogs, or at least too lazy to type out. Anyway, its mid-week easter break, time is moving on damn fast this year. I remember last yr this time i was wondering why april is so late. but now, april is like ending in just 2 weeks time!!! Argh!!! too little time.. too much things to do...!!! ARGH!!!! okie.. i have like 1 test, 5 journals, and 1 case study entry to do by next wednesday.. and i havent started at all!!! but nah... aint kan cheonging for now... will do that tomorrow.
A friend of mine and kevin came down for holiday, poor boy... he's from canberra... hahaha. Well, he's a frequent traveller to melbourne, so no need to really bring him ard. But still brought him around. Went shopping to smith street, bridge road, chadstone, glen ferrie.. man bought alot of CHEAP stuff!! hahaha I LIKE!! its so cool to be able to buy cheap EX stuff that is still somewhat fashionable today and hopefully for the next 1 year. Bought some nice tracks frm adidas...its really nice... i look so atheletic in them... ahhaha!!
Well... of coz we aint quite alot too.... we had really cheap pasta + pizza + salad ($10 eat all u can), vietnamese food in richmond, cheap fish and chips in crown ($2.00), glen waverly, and clayton. Of coz we had the st. kilda cakes and the INFAMOUS ROCHE ICE CREAM!!! ya... i'm fat now.... :(
besides enjoying food, the entertainment was great as well.... i had never watched so many comedy fest shows before.... and the best thing is that they were free or damn cheap!! hahah so typical singaporean. We managed to get some complimentary tix for a few shows... hahah like beggers... but it was good.. i enjoyed the shows eventhough they weren't the big names (my fren managed to watch will anderson for free though). I still rem some of them.. hahaha.... We went clubbing as well, to revolver, wanted to go to PRINCE OF WALES but it's damn bloody ex (40 for entry) siao! won't pay that kind of money. Went to crown of coz... won some, lose some.. but i think overall.. won some.. i really love pokies!! it's the best game to feel good... but also the worst game to make us feel crap. We brought another friend... jeremey (he studies in mel uni) to crown as well... and he loves the BIG WHEEL to death.. u shld see the way he analyses the game, and the pattern he comes up with to explain the no.s ha! cute! well.... it's bad to gamble... i'm like hook to pokies...... but i learned one other valuable lesson... always go back to the games u are familiar with... sure win onE! hahaha!
well.... all of this fun has ended.. back to school again... sigh.... in 7 to 8 weeks time is exam period... sigh... so stressed.
oh ya.... my room finally looks like a room.. ahah. well i finally had my furniture shifted, the place looks so much bigger and spacious.... i had the table and bed moved... i have the fridge at the same place, i added a mirror... put up the shower curtain pics. Now all i have to do is to set up my bean bag!!!!! YESH.... MY BEAN BAG!!! i finaly got it!! kevin bought it for our anniversary... yesh... 3 yrs 2 months... long sia... oh well.. back to bean bags.... yes i got the lounge like bean bag!!! hahah that means can sleep in it one!!! hahahah... cool rite... i want to make my room as cosy as possible... so it won't feel like the halls all over again. I'm gng to buy flowers to beautify my room.. hopefully decorate it some other things too. haha so exciting! So proud of myself too. :) 5 stars for me!!! *****
Ye..... sorry ah.. alot to write.....
I'm liking Jay chou songs... ye i know its like a bit late.... but recently i've randomnly downloaded some of his songs, and i loved it so much!! i really do.... it's like so sentimental, can cry if you really feel the song he sings... so sweet and so romantic... awwww..... I think its also partly due to the fact i miss chinese songs.. eventhough i don't listen to them as much back in sg. I think being away from home and home country has really taught me alot of things. Like how much i really like home, how convenient things are, how much has been provided for us....how cheap some stuff are.. and many other things. I know some people really love australia, i do like it here.. but i think i prefer to be home. I miss the weather too!! haha!
Well.... i'm about to end this blog for the day.... just thought i write down some running thoughts i had over the past few days....
How can people change so drastically..... and be a totally different person.... has changed of heart or the hurt of the heart make some people change to cover their true feelings?? I wonder..... it's amazing... the change..... too amazing....
How can some people just sit down and see the person they love/like with other people??? why dont u fight for what u think u deserve?? why??? dare not? or scared rejection??
How can some people treat people differently at the same time.... why some people like to hang out with some people whom they had little interaction as compared to what they had with other people.? why is it.. they laugh at people's jokes but smile at yours? Why do some people seem so happy to see some people, but dont really bother to say hi to some other people??
How can some people even bring themselves to do some things which is like near impossible or just wrong??? for fun??? or they just want people to notice them?? how can some people just do it? i don't understand??? to experience life??? i dunno???weird...
lastly.... why sometimes life seems to be unfair to others and why some just have it the way they want it to be.. or at least unexpectedly make things better for them. Is there such things as fate... or is it just GODs way of punishing some people who have made grave mistakes? What would life be in 5 yrs time.. would the same people have it their way... or would they finally learn things the hard way....???
