I seriously dont quite understand me sometimes. I dont understand why sometimes i am what i am in certain situations. I dont understand why i say certain things to certain people. I dont understand why i react in a certain manner to different people. I dont understand the different treatments i give u different people.
Just dont quite understand why im so different in so many ways that it's giving me a headache. I don't understand why i get upset and depressed over certain things and yet elated on things i know i shldnt be happy abt.
I dont understand the evil side of me. The devil is playing a serious joke on me. I really dunno what's become of me but all i know is that i'm realy not happy. The funny thing is this... i dunno why im not happy!! It's not as if.. i had the worst childhood, no education, no family, no friends, no life or no job... but i just feel.... unhappy. This bothers me because it affects who i am and my daily lives.
I'm amazed at how some people can be so strong and happy go lucky. They treat things as if the world is the most wonderful place on earth. I'm amazed at other's strength in whatevr they do. They know what they want and they are in control. I'm amazed at how some people can just get what they want without even asking.
I guess... i've finally hit the mark of everything. I'm confused. How sad is that right. I'm at a crossroad of what do i want and dont want, what i shld have and not have, what i desire and dont desire, what i wish to have and wish not to have. Too many crossroads for me ... too many headaches.
Seriously.. i shld be happy.. i really should be glad and merry. I shld be like everyone else.... able to handle my own life. But i can't. I just dont' understand why.
