Reality and the world around you. If only i was still a child... how beautiful life would be. How happy people would be. How peaceful one's mind can get. How one does not worry at all.
In all honesty, I really hate becoming an adult. Yep this might sound really senseless, but i hate becoming an adult. I hate the fact that there are certain things that no matter what will forever burden you. I feel the emotional strain that i feel i shouldnt be having. I feel it's causing me a huge emotional stain. I wonder what happened to the happy and carefree person i shld to be. I wonder why smiling has become so difficult now. I wonder why issit that my personality has changed so drastically over the years.
I see myself as the anti-social than the socialable. I see myself as the person who doesnt talk much compared to the past where i'll just talk about anything and everything. I shld to be happy, but now.. happiness seems far fetched. I wonder why the obstacles in life is piling up so fast and so much. I wonder why life can be such a contradict. I wonder why the world seems to be changing so differently as it was years back. I wonder why do people need to grow old wondering about so many things.
I'm seeing so many changes around me: lifestyle, relationships, feelings, mindset, faith, religion, values, morals, principles...etc
I dont like what i'm gng through now... i hate it and i hate myself falling prey to such unnecessary feelings and emotions. I rather not have such things bothering me. I really do...
Furthermore, I feel i need to move on in life. I wish i can just do that but i can't..... i dont think i can do it.. at least not now. I dunno... i feel i need a change in life, a change in mentality, a change in lifestyle, a change in attitudes, a change in personality, a change for the better.
I think i have alot of feelings and thoughts that i can't really decipher or comprehend. I can't quite find the right person to tell too as well. I never really had the luck to find a good listening ear who actually truly understands how i feel or why im feeling what i am feeling and provide sound advice. I think I've been listening to others too long, that i feel my turn has come but i have no one to turn too.
I feel being too independent sometimes sucks... everyone shld have someone to fall back on coz no one is superman. When the heart breaks and fall... who is there to lift u up?
Correct, there is a GOD who will lift all our pains away, but i'm waiting for him to send me that someone. I feel distraught and confused. I think people change too fast and often...
oh well.... like i said... i hate being an adult. I hate being me now.
