Frustration Why issit that humans must possess this feeling called frustration/irritation/angst/anger etc? I am feeling frustrated now... very in fact.. over things that i feel i could have not feel frustrated with. Knowing my patience I think or would love to believe that I am able to control my temper over lil bits of things happening ard me.. but nope I can't. PMS? i dunno.. maybe... but i think alot of factors are adding to the frustration bit.
First: I'm unwell (it doesnt help knowing i can't recover soon becoz those ard me in office are always constantly sick) Second: I'm tired (despite having 6-7 hrs of sleep each day, i'm still feeling tired everyday, even after exercising!) Third: I have nothing much to do at work (I just dont understand.. everyone seems so busy except me.. i like to think i have to work OT.. at least i have some sort of value and worth. Argh! No one seems to be giving work that can last me for a few days!) Fourth: BF is occassionally being insensitive and this is constantly irritating the hell out of me! (He doesnt remember the things i tell him, only knows how to gamble and lose, only know how to have fun and then later on regret by complaining abt work and stress... and many more things of such is gng to happen)
Yep.. the four elements of my frustration. I really hate it.. but i am pissed.
I feel like i need to be left alone but then... i wish i had alot of things to do to keep my mind off all these stupid things!
I dunno... i think it all adds up... and finally.. i just need to vent out my frustrations.
I shld have a punching doll... or lots of money to go retail therapying! Both sound equally good and excellent! But unfortunately i dont have both.... see my elements of frustration!
@ work.. It's lunch time, hence the time to blog something while digesting my food. Work had been okay, not as busy as i thought i would be. I should have taken MC today; em not feeling all so well since i moved to the "high-risked area" of the office. Apparantly the area that I'm sitting is known for contracting viruses and falling ill easily. It seems that those in this area keep falling sick, and for a rather long period of time. So... i thought... i wont be that unlucky la.. but true enough, the next day after moving, I began to fell ill. I was like... no way.. this can't be happening, so i brushed off the thought. But then.. towards the end of the day, the flu came and my throat felt dry. Argh... luckily it was good friday long weekend next, so i had the weekend the rest, and I did recover well. So on Monday I went back to office feeling better and equipped with stuff to clean and freshen the air. Despite that, my flu returned and the cough came along. My neighbour is sick, so is my manager (blocked by a divider). Ha! I was convinced.. this area is indeed CONTAGIOUS AND DANGEROUS! The air smells and feels better outside the area than my area. It might be because my area is just next to the photocopying room, and the radiation isn't doing us any good. But.... something has to be done. I dont want to be sick for the longest time! My mum is gng to pass me an ionizer to neutralise the air. I'm tempted to even get one of those air purifier thing to purify the air.
Sigh...
Anyway... my week had been so so, work had been only busy on Mondays. That's when everyone returns your email or update you on progress of event. I feel so useless on days I have nothing to do. It's not good to hang ard, surfing the web, chatting online. I'm in a rather open area. My work is dependable on my bosses that are so busy with their stuff, that they have no time to pass some work to me because they are the ones liasing with external parties that is too sudden for me to take over. Fair enough... but i really need work to do. Sigh... Only good thing that happened was that I left office earlier yesterday to go recceing of hotels for an upcoming event. That's abt it. Another one i'm looking forward too is this friday's half day work. The company has organised a Malacca Day trip this friday, and those who dont go, will get the friday afternoon off, and this is an official off day. Ha! how cool is that! that's gng to be rest day for me. I really need the sleep.
A new girl just came in 2 days ago to help out in an event for 2 weeks. And coincidentally, she's an ex classmate of my 2 exclassmates in poly. She was their sec sch classmate. She actually applied for the same position that I applied for when I saw the advert on the SIF website looking for a full-timer. She's nice, very chatty. more lunch partners.
Yesterday, I went to watch Miss Congenality 2: Armed and Fabulous with my mum. I had 2 free tickets and it was expiring soon so I had to use it soon. So mum decided to watch a movie with me. I thought my dad would be watching with us too, coz my mum never said anything about him not coming. So I was at Shaw centre (beach rd) earlier, and purchased the 3rd ticket. Then mum came and she came alone. I asked her where was dad, and she said he didnt come, and I was like.. WHAT! Then she asked, "dont tell me you bought his ticket?" wah... so there i had 3 tickets but no way i could sell the 3rd ticket, coz the cinema itself was quite empty already, so no one would want to buy it. Anyway, mum told me not to tell my dad abt the 3rd tick. Ha! oh well. Anyway... the show was alright, until towards 3/4 of the show when the film suddenly stopped and the music came on. For a good 15 mins, nothing was done, everyone were taking their turns to go to the loo, some even left. Apparantly no one was in the room to fix the projector, they didn't even know that the show stopped! Well... then my mum joked, maybe they might refund the tickets, then we can refund the 3rd ticks. ha!.. i was quite tempted. But soon the film came back on. The show was not too bad, quite funny. I think Sandra bullock is really gorgoeous. She's really cool as a tom boy, and equally gorgeous as the barbie doll of FBI. She can quote any designer easily. Ha!
Alright... back to work (if i actually have work to do).. colleagues are all back, and they are behind me chatting. Till the next update... BYEE..
A quick update A lil tired. So quick huh eventhough im started work for 3 days only. Anyway, work's been good.. so far so good. But from tomorrow onwards, work is gng to pile up. Been given another project to work on, and tomorrow another one. In all, my events are in april, may and june. So ya.. u can see how tight the deadlines are. I dont mind the extra projects, kills more time for me at work. I'm looking forward to this weekend, it's long weekend!! Yes.. i'm already looking forward to all the long weekends already, so glad all the sunday holidays are during my 4 months term with SIF.
I have a ray of hope on my contract. I had a conversation with my colleague today, and she was actually suppose to be on a 6 months contract, but then they extended her contract to a full time job even before her contract ended. So.. maybe i may have a lil hope that by july i may get that promotion to be a full-timer. Cross fingers!
My weekend was okay, spent saturday lazing at home, went church, had dinner with family and their friends at SRC, then i rushed to suntec for the NATAS travel fair to see if there are any good deals for flights to melbourne for month july or august. Unfortunately and as expected the fair is for the june break and all the special rates are valid till the end of the fair. $468 for return trip to melbourne.. HOW CHEAP IS THAT! but i did find out that for late july, early august is still peak period coz of the students gng back to study or those starting new term, the rates are most probably gng to be $800 plus. Well... must really save $$ to go melbourne. There goes shopping in singapore for me, after i minus everything i have to minus. Anyway sunday my family and i went to batu pahat to attend my grandma's bday lunch. It was okay, just a trip up and down for the day.
anyway... im tired.. i wanna sleep soon. sigh... i so need to exercise.. but looks like i miss out of time. regretted greatly that i never spent my free time not exercising. will try.. have too!
first day @ work Work was not bad. Had a good orientation around the office; it was nice and big. There's a theme to the interior design, the walk way represents the river, the bosses room and theatrette are given mountains' or forests' names. The office is split into 2 wings, right wing is the bosses office, left wing is the executive office. So the river will flow from the bosses room to the executive room which is like a small pool. Hhaha must see how it looks like then easier to visualise.
Anyway, met some of the pple in the office, 3/4 of the pple are not in, they're either on leave or overseas. Met some from my department too, mine is called the International Networking department, divided into 2 sections, Overseas singaporeans program and Friends of Singapore program. I'm a bit here and there in helping out the department. The IN department has several projects at the moment, one of the bigger projects is the Overseas Singapore Conference to be held in Bangkok this june. My current job scope is to co-ordinate this event together with the other pple in charge of this project. Alot of things are still tentative and unconfirmed. I pity my colleagues actually. They are so busy with not only this project but other projects around the same time too. I can really forsee the month of May to be the busiest month, with all the registration, updating, finalised material for the event. Wah!! OT!! oh no!!!
Anyway.. i had some stuff to do today. Had to try to think of some new ideas for discussion topics for the conference. Since the conference is held in Bangkok, neighbouring countries will be invited too, therefore i had to find topics for these countries to discuss about. China and India were included too. Some ideas i thought of were: Education, relationships and volunteerism. All discussion topics have to have a singapore perspective in it as well. That is, how singaporeans should be more involved in the region and make a singapore presence in the region and in singapore too. This is tough for me... i dont really read all the stories in the ASIA region, now i have to read all the papers, magazines to find ideas, not only for this conference but i can forsee for others too. Besides this, I have to research on some speakers for the event. We have approached some people, but either they rejected or couldnt be contacted. Those who are confirmed some suddenly say cannot make it. So.. i have to try to source some other speakers to give talk. Therefore i need to research online and do a short bio on them.
Heh.. not bad for a first day @ work ah. Time actually pass fast. Oh ya... i have to say this... i admire a company that has an excellent pantry... and SIF has a BIG pantry with a TV in it. hehe!
Oh well... tom's work will most prob be the same, i'll be attending a focus group organised by the MOM on singaporeans who went overseas either to study or work. MOM wants to find out how strong is the Singapore presence in overseas countries. Yep.. so i'll be part of that.
Luckily as well, SIF practices casual fridays.. meaning dress down. So i can wear jeans and tee on fridays. I'm glad my colleagues are quite friendly.. at least they bother. :)
Oh well.. i'm glad i had a good first day @ work.. only downside i can't d.l MSN messenger on the com, firewall blocked it, luckily i could d.l web messenger. Only thing is that i'm not sure if they allow online chatting while at work, plus my back is facing the main walk way, so cant tell if anyone was behind me.
Oh ya! I received 2 phone calls today. One from capitaland and other from Ukelele, a branding agency. yup.. i had to reject them. I feel horrible doing that... but i've signed the contract. I hope in 4 months time something really good come up from this position. CROSS FINGERS!!!!!
if anyone has good ideas for the conference discussion topics.. please do leave it in the comment? Thanks!!
Indeed it was. I caught it with Mary yesterday, and it was really a hilarious cartoon. The touch of real live in the cartoon has really added the extra laughter in the show. Robin Williams as usual is FANTASTIC! He's flair and energy translate well in the character of Fender. There's this particular scene towards the end of the show is seriously hilarious... came out of nowhere but it was just FUNNY!
Overall, I enjoyed it tremendously. A good show for everyone to watch; it will up your spirits if ya down as well. :)
It was a good meet up with Mary yesterday. Last i saw her was Dec, when we attended a wedding together. What i like abt meeting Mary is that we can just talk about anything, the familiarity is so good with each other, there's no problem coming up with topics to talk about. We can laugh about our secondary school days, tease each other on the things we did, we talk about present relationships, talk about work.. and many other things! I'm glad she's the one friend from sec sch that i still keep in touch with. Oh ya.. she's planning a trip to Melbourne... too bad i can't leave same time as her, if not can bring her around. I'm thinking of gng to melbourne too, visit kevin (more like help him bring back stuff) and some of my melbourne friends. I was telling Mary where are the good places to visit in Melbourne... and it made me think of my days in melbourne again, and I really really miss the place! We came to a conclusion that Australia is not more boring than Singapore, in fact, we feel Singapore is more boring than Australia. Though shopping centres close early in Australia, there is still some other things to do, go out with friends to some 24 hr maccas for supper, play mahjong, watch dvd, cook food together... etc etc etc. I think closing the shops early is good too actually, it actually force pple to interact with their family and friends. How much can u shop too anyway! Oh well.. i hope i can really go back there, only prob, the tics are super ex even during mid-end july. Will have to see later, hopefully prices will drop as the dates are nearer.
Today... well today is my last day i can enjoy waking up late on a weekday. Heh....! A lil excited with my first day tom, i wonder will i get my own desk, with my own computer to use. I would really prefer a nice lil corner of the office, where not many pple can see me, so i can occasionally play some games or chat on MSN. hahah... die la... haven't started work and i'm thinking of slacking at work already. Heh! Now i'm thinking whether i shld bother to decorate my desk or not, shld i bring photos? Shld i cover the desk with tidbits??? Hmm.. will see tomorrow how big the desk and how exclusive my area is first.
Today's agenda is very simple... go sign contract with agency at 11.30, lunch, then go orchard to buy a couple more working attire, buy a pair of shoes, buy some hair accessories (hate the idea of tying my hair now... but need to look presentable for work), go home for dinner, go church for RCIA, go supper, sleep late, and struggle to wake up early tom!
Latest! 77th street has officially rejected me. Yep.. i didnt make it through to the 2nd round. Reason: they needed someone more experienced, which i lacked in terms of 1 or 2 yrs. That's fine.
The verdict: Looks like i'll be takin up the SIF position. My next aim.. hoping it will turn out so good... they might extend my position to a full time position. In 3 months time we shall know.
i dont deny i'm a lil disappointed. I hoped i could get a full-time job, but guess somethings u just cant get and just take what u have first.
anyways... life is going to be a bit different this week onwards. I can finally put my occupation as EMPLOYED and not UNEMPLOYED already. hehe
okie... will have to call the agency soon. got to read contract first before i sign it.
okie.. an update. yep.. about one week late of entries. It has been a rather interesting week for me.. some ups and downs and some angst. But oh well.. it's a brand new week and hopefully this week will be the week that will change my life!
Okie.. a lil update on what happened last week.
I had 2 interviews, one with 77th street the other with SIF. Both called on the same day in a matter of 10 mins apart. Okie.. the lowdown:
77th street is a PR and Marketing position, 2 yrs contract, do all the promotions, loyalty card, newsletters, websites, contest.. etc. Exciting job, stressful too.
SIF: position is International Networking executive. 4 months temp job. $1700, no OT pay. organise 3 events that are coming up in these 4 months. 2 local, 1 overseas. Job scope: liaise with conference organisers, hotels.. etc, promote event, loads of administrative work, i forsee loads of filing, posting, labelling, folding.. etc etc etc.
So far how these 2 jobs are progressing: I still need to be shortlisted for a 2nd interview with 77th st, an interview with the GM. I went for my 2nd interview with SIF and the chances are quite high.. however they are waiting for my progress with 77th st.
sounds familiar?? yep... deja vu, sounds like cold storage all over again. But now, if 77th st rejects me, SIF is the choice. Though 4 months does sound short, i'm only hoping they will extend my contract to a full time position after the 4 months. I guess if that's how i have to start my career.. that's how i have to start it la.
In terms of my personal life, well was glad to meet up with some good friends of mine. Had a not too bad time at zouk with them over the weekend, just that music aint good, plus we were moving ard too much. but.. nevertheless, i was glad to have met up with my good gal pals. About the life of my other half, well.. i think he's having a ball of a time. Gng moomba, housewarming, two tribes, crown to gamble....etc... so much fun in just a week.. yep.. i do miss him.. miss melbourne.. miss our time in melbourne.. miss the freedom... sigh.
I finally went to gym today too. Seems like my project kill-time has finally taken off! hahaha.. gym was a tad terrible though, thanks to the house rules. Went to the jurong east clubfit branch. The rule there is that u cannot listen to music on ya radio hp and also u cannot put ya water bottle on the treadmill or on the floor next to you. i was like HUH? what kind of rule is this? The instructor said the radio will influence the radio frequency of the gym's radio frequency. what? first time i've ever heard this sort of reason. anyway,... gym was tedious.. so long never run... felt the heart was super heavy. oh well hope to follow the regime regularly.
alright... wish me luck pple for this week. it's either 77th st or SIF.
POSITIVE THINKING I think the past week had been terrible. I was down, depressed, and just sick of myself. I think it was just too much negativity around me. But i was so glad i woke up today feeling that i should stop all these negativity and stay positive in my thinking and everything that's happening around me.
Jobs... well.. some like to say it's good to still be jobless.. get to rest and do whatever i want to before i slave for life. Hmm.. maybe that isn't a bad idea afterall. I shld be patient. There's always a time and place for everything. Maybe my time isn't here yet. Maybe something good will happen soon for me. I have done what i can in my job search, the rest is up to the lord to decide which is the best and most suitable for me. Maybe this period is a time of soul searching and life enrichment. Maybe it's a time of self reflection to prepare myself for whatever hardship that will come in the future. There must be a purpose for all this that's happening. I leave it to you Lord! Maybe there are some things that need reconcilliation with... maybe?? who knows right?
Life shld continue to go on for me. Maybe it's time for learning to be independent. Kevin aint ard... i have to learn to lead a slightly more lonlier life. Maybe that's an area i have to learn on.
Yep....i just need some positive thinking....! I'm glad to have received some motivation from some friends.... it's good to have positive minds telling u it's okay to not get a job yet...the right one will come soon.
yup... patience indeed is a virtue. I have faith in myself and in the Lord to provide whats the best.
I think i'll go on fine. I will. I've been depressed long enough. One week is good enough. I will strive to work on a new life!
Who's my guardian angle? Where is he or she? Has he or she appeared? Why is this time such a hard time, and that why did this come all of a sudden? What have i dont wrong? Why am i in such bad luck? oh man.....
I had lamenting and complaining. I am really running out of patience. Yes i am.
Sheesh.... i hate sayin this out... but i have really no one i can talk to abt this. The one person has left to melbourne... parents... well... maybe just more same advice...
so where's my guardian angle when i need one? This is so hard...harder than i ever expected.
Pretty disappointed Yep I am. I wonder is it really luck or not capable enough, why is it so hard to find a job i like, or at least get a response from the job/company i like to work in. Pretty stressed out by it. Now I wonder have i made a wrong move rejecting my job offers, or shld i really be very very patient to get the job i like. Why is it that it's so hard for fresh graduates to get a good job? What's the point of an education then? Just to prove to the world that Singaporeans are very smart, that's why everyone needs to have a degree? Why is it that most jobs always looking for working experience? How so does one gain proper working experience if they are studying? So... who gives us a chance... seriously....! Why such contradiction in the singapore system? If working experience is all a company really wants in a job position, then wouldn't it be better that everyone starts working after O'Levels, gain that work experience then move on to do part time diploma, get that cert, get promoted, then study part time degree, then get promoted, then get a masters degree, then get promoted. Isn't that better? Then by the time u get a degree, you have like 4 years working experience. How about that!
You want degree holders, but then u want them to have working experience in that field. If every company wants experienced people, then who gives chances to those with less than 6 mths working experience or fresh grads? Must one really have to start with a job they dont like or not related to what one studies just to gain that working experience? So again... is it luck that one can get a job from a company they like or is it because of their capabilities though lacking in working experience?
So... in a country like Singapore... shld one still can afford to be choosy.. and wait for the right job or must just go ahead.. work anyway and gain working experience so ultimately in 2 years time get that dream job u always wanted?
Maybe i'm too impatient, maybe i have some unfinished business i have to attend too before the LORD can show me the right job at the right time. I dont feel at peace, could it be stress and pressure from everyone? It really doesn't help everywhere i go.. people ask me.. SO FOUND A JOB ALREADY? HOW'S WORKING? WHY REJECT? DONT BE CHOOSY, JUST WORK FOR THE EXPERIENCE, IT'S OKAY, THE RIGHT JOB WILL COME ALONG..... literally.. everyone is askin me or telling me about my job searching. Not that I'm lazy in finding, I think i've tried everything and used everywhere to find my job, but somehow no one is calling. Even if there are fone calls, they are either data entry positions (contract basis), sell insurance, sell credit cards or bank services, go schools and seek sponsorship! WHAT? SO THESE ARE THE JOBS AVAILABLE FOR FRESH GRADS ONLY!!!!
who gives us a chance to prove that without 2 yrs experience, with a bit of training and understanding, we can do a good job as someone who has experience too? You fresh grads cannot learn on the job as fast as an experienced person? i dont get it... i really dont.
Like i said... is it my luck or really lack of capabilities?
Shld i be choosy or shld i just accept whatever comes along?
