Social life????
Okie..... let's see... do I have a social life? What is social life? Maybe... to me.. its abt... meeting up and catching up with friends. Now... I came to realise one point... which has become a pattern in my life since secondary school.
I had a group of close friends when I was in primary school, they were my neighbourhood friends. We played, bitch,go school, celebrate mooncake festival,had tuition etc together. Those were really fun days. Okie.. then we moved on to secondary school, and we drifted abit.. but still managed to catch up once inawhile. But things were just different.
Okie.. then in sec school.. i had another group of close friends, they were the prefectorial board executive committee members and a couple of other friends. They too were a fun bunch. We stayed back for fun after class just to hang out. We saw each other going through puppy love, had relationships, relationships screwed up.. etc.. basically... whatever must happen at adolescent ages.. we saw it through together. Then we all moved on to polytechnic, and everyone went their own ways, and soon... we all were no longer in contact.. unless we bumped into each other somewhere somehow.
Okie... then in Polytechnic, met a great bunch of people, they were my first yr classmates. The best classmates ever. We grouped together the moment we knew each other, we waited for each other at the bus stop just to go class, we had class chalets, we went shopping, watched movies, took neoprints... basically... the really fun people was in my class. Well..then we moved on to yr 2.. then yr 3... slowly.. several cliques formed becoz all had different classes.. but then I still had a group of friends i hanged out with. However, I hanged out with different groups of people... i never really had one group of people that i really really hanged out with. Soon I realised.. i was moving ard as a friend.
Okie... then came church...I too had a group of friends whom I met... I was the new girl.. knew nobody... but after joining a youth group... i managed to ease my way into the circle of friends. We also headed out for supper after friday nights' classes, we bitched abt things, gossiped about who we dislike.. and who we find disgusting. Basically... they were a good bunch of people. I was glad i had them to welcome me into the community... not easy for me.. coz these people knew each other since young... and i mean... like primary school onwards.
Okie.. then came Kevin.. my boyfriend.. and still is. Through him.. i met another group of friends... half whom i knew b4 him. Mainly guys.. but not branched out to include their gfs. Well.. they've been fun as well... and i really admire this group of friends. They knew each other since young... and have been best buds since then. This is wat i call true friendship... coz all of them are very different. All had different backgrounds, personalities, and characters, but yet.. they still can blend in well and become great friends. They are just such a nice sight to see.. and i honestly envy them. They were warm in welcoming me into the group... and I'm really glad they did that.
Okie.. then came Uni.. I had no friends when i came here, cept for Alvina, who was from the same poly as me. We hunged out, got to know each other better, and literally did everything we could together, such as grocery shopping, exercising, cooking, baking, studying, bitching, clubbing.. etc. That was good times. In the Halls, where we stayed.. we met another great group of friends... a multicultural mix.. japanese, vietnamese, malaysians, american, australians. They were great too, made my life in halls so much better. Then later in our uni life... we met another group of great friends, the SAM executive committee. Boy, did i have fun with them. The made me feel so comfortable, simply because they brought back a piece of singapore to me. It just feels like home when I'm with them in Melbourne. It's always nice to find something like home when ur alone overseas. Then I met another group of friends whom I got along well with... and still am getting along with.
The problem is... after seeing all these group of friends i had.... I only have one group that i really hanged out with.. and that's kevin's friends. But thats also coz... i'm with kevin most of the time.. and hence i see them often..that's when im in sg.
Here in mel... those group of friends i have... the SAM committee... the new friends...well... i feel i'm slowly and again.. out of the social circle. Everyone has someone to hang out with...whereas for me... I have kevin only.
I think it's just me... I dont know how to maintain friendship.. i dont have the habit to call people and talk to them.. i dont have the initiative to call and ask.."hey wanna go for coffee/lunch?" I dont even know how to hold a proper conversation with people. I am just not close enough with them. I know i have friends... but i dont have a group of close friends... or at least a couple of them. I had one each period in my life... and we all seem drift now. Each of them moved on and found other close friends. Hai...
is it me..?? am i really bad in sociallising? I think this is bad.... 21.5 yrs of my life... where are my friends???? even a couple.. and i am grateful.
People.. think... have i ever been in your mind when u wanna ask someone for coffee or lunch or shop?
no right.... SEE!!!
I feel quite insignificant now.
