its pretty obvious to tell whether a person is much appreciated in a group of friends. To me, i think if they actually mention about you to others, be it in conversations, emails, or blogs. I think its quite sad that I did not make any good impressions for others to actually acknowledge my presence in their lives. I'll be those that will come and go and in 5 -10 yrs.. wont rem who i am, or at least would not garner that huge reaction when u see someone.
I wonder what have i done now and in the past to deserve to be in this state? Is it the way i treat pple, or how i approach pple? Have i been too insensitive, or just couldn't be bothered? Have i been too boring that no one can actually call me their good friend? Does it mean that I have my bf with me in australia, that I do not get called to join in for activities?
Am i destined to be an outkast for the rest of my life, what should one do to be accepted in a group with open arms, and constantly have an impact in their lives? Must I give presents, create laughter or do silly things just to make the people like me and appreciate me for who I am?
I always imagine... maybe i've said this before... what would pple say during my funeral. Things that they remember significantly or just the normal.. 'sharon has been a nice girl, friendly, etc....' I regard some pple as good friends, share with them my secrets and feelings, treat them with total respect, and support them in whatever they do... i dont seem to get pple doing the same to me.
I love you guys... i realy do... but do u feel the same for me? I wonder... i really do....
